first day funk
june 29, 2007
my first day at work turned out the way i expected it to: i just submitted all the requirements, had my id pic taken and had nothing else to do for the most part of the day. well, of course, my boss introduced me to her boss and to my new colleagues. it was a young group of people, mostly in their early 20's, majority were women. they were all nice and accommodating. i had a chance to get to know some of them better during the team lunch (this happens quarterly, the company reserves a budget for it). they had an effort to get to know me, they asked me personal questions that i had no qualms answering. it's been great, i've always been excited about meeting new people, making new friends. :)
i'm entitled to my own workstation, my own cubicle, i must add. i temporarily used the desktop pc though (as my boss still had to follow up my laptop) to surf the net and chat with eder and hazel. hehe. i also got my office supplies (which includes a bottle of ethyl alcohol). unfortunately, the keys to my locker are nowhere to be found yet so i had to do with leaving my brand new supplies on top of my desk. now, i'm still praying that nobody tries to take even a piece of pen. hehe. worry wart.
anyway, my favorite part of the day was when my boss, our boss and i attended a meeting with the asia pacific head for bcp. being the new girl in the office, i initially thought that this foreigner boss was actually in the building. later did i know that we were actually attending a phone meeting cos he's based in australia. we only conversed with him via speaker phone. i had a hard time deciphering his english (w/ his accent) so i literally had to stick my ear near the speaker.
but it's been all good. i have yet to attend the actual training and orientation this coming week but i already learned a few from the meeting itself and being around my co-workers. yet, of course, i'm looking forward to learning more about the challenge of this new responsibility. as allan and i discussed last night, we're both happy that everything seems to be falling into place now, with him getting a better job and with me finally being a productive member of society. we're being optimistic yet never sure. we should always be ready for unexpected events.
i have been teaching myself to live in the present but worries and hang-ups are sometimes inevitable. with that in hand, i'm hoping this job helps me overcome my insecurities so i can set my goals and one day be able to achieve each and one of them.
make you work, make you work, work.
yesterday i dropped by 1800 building to get to know the details of my employment, what requirements i need to submit, what benefits i'm getting and to sign
the contract. as you've probably read in my latest post, i'm obviously very eager to get this job opportunity but i tried so hard to conceal it in front of the hr person and my soon-to-be immediate supervisor. hence, they still made an effort to convince me to accept their offer. of course, i gleefully signed the contract, having read the terms and having been overwhelmed by the impressive benefits (which includes a laptop). well, they didn't have to do a lot of convincing because i was already blown away by the fact that i got picked out of a many hopefuls. (i still can't get over that even up to now) =)
anyway, they made me take home almost an inch thick pre-employment requirements i need to fill up and sign. i started accomplishing it last night but i guess i won't be done with til this friday. if not, my salary would have to be delayed til next month. boo.
my first work day is on friday. i must admit i'm a little jittery right now, still a bit apprehensive. i really don't know what to expect... from the job itself or from the bosses. but i'm looking forward to meeting new people and learning.. (to be more responsible, that is).
jobhunter extraordinaire no more.
today, today, today! june 25, 2007 at 830am. i received the phone call i have been waiting for so long! finally, a job offer i actually accepted. a job i prayed hard for every night. i was close to praying to every saint i could think of and calling all the dead members of the family. just when i was about to lose hope, i got this call!
i literally burst into tears after i put the phone down. i was filled with emotions i didn't know i could ever feel again. i was screaming at 850am, jumping up and down, announcing to my mom, my kuya, etc that i got the job! that i got picked out of a number of hopeful applicants! i now have a re-established belief in myself, i'm back to my competitive mode.
i do want this job and i know i deserve it. there's no way i can let myself go back to being the stubborn and lazy ass 21 year old that i was. i promised myself to plan my life goals once i get the job i like. it's much like starting over, like i was just out of college once again.
i know failures and heartaches are inevitable but i'm willing to take the risk. i just hope and pray that everything falls into place now that i have this new responsibility. it's a new step, a new beginning. i'm digging a grave for my cynicism cos there's no place for that in my life right now. everyday, i'll always think of a reason to smile and be happy. =) as bob marley's song positive vibrations goes.....
Cause its a new day
New time, new feeling yeah!
Say it's a new sign
Oh what a new day
Picking up.
Are you picking up now
Jah love, Jah love, protect us
even if i despise isaiah washington
his chartacter as dr. preston burke/cristina's boyfriend in grey's anatomy is worth remembering.
too bad the wedding didn't push through. it could have been my favorite scene because of the heartmelting vows he practiced with addison (kate walsh) and the rest.
"Christina, I could promise, to hold you, and to cherish you.
I could promise, to be there in sickness and in health.
I could say, til death do us part.
But I won't.
Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope.
And I do not stand here, on my wedding day, optimistic, or full of hope.
I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful.
I am sure.
I am steady.
And I know...
I'm a heart-man.
Take them apart, put them back together.
I hold them in my hands.
I am a heart man.
So this i am sure.
You are my partner, my lover, my very best friend.
My heart, my heart, beats for you.
and on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this:
I promise you, to lay my heart in the palm of your hands
I promise you, me. "
the family that skates together, stays together
yesterday was tita emma's 56th birthday and independence day holiday. their family and i headed to far far away/roxas blvd to have lunch at marina. we feasted on shrimps, baked oysters, crispy pata, etc. i literally had a difficult time standing up after that meal. then we headed to mall of asia because we (the kiddos) wanted to go ice skating and we did! we, at our age, seemed to be the oldest people in that rink! it was aaron and anton's first time but not for ariane, allan and me. but allan was the best at it, such a show off!
then we had dinner at yumyum sbarro! i really had a great time with them. allan has the nicest family. they have been nothing but kind and generous. i'm so grateful to have met them and spent time with them. and i wish to get to know them more. :)
ateneo forever
nostalgia hit me once again when i had dinner/drinks/dessert last night with my ateneo girls, joey, tinafer, cai and jihan. i was time warped back into college. back when final oral exams and marketing defense were the only stresses of my life. i realize how adulthood eats us up alive, with the jobhunting that follows after college and our participation in family matters (legal or not).
it was a laid-back get-together, just enough booze involved and a whole lot of gossiping. one thing for sure is that we're still the same giggly girls we were in ateneo. we still loved chismis, boys and ancient block g stories. how i missed these girls! i'm looking forward to another night out SOON.
dencio's dinner (+bedroom +jack's loft)
joey -fashionably late (as always)
Labels: ateneo
hello. i miss you.
Wait till you don't doubt no more Wait till you know for sure And you will wait too long he will be gone nowwait -get set goanticipation is the worst thing.
Friendster Horoscope for June 5, 2007
Aries
The Bottom line
If you want to achieve some goals, it's time to roll up your sleeves and get going!
In Detail
If you want to achieve some goals, today is the perfect day to roll up your sleeves and get going! You should be able to make some major progress. Do not be afraid to get dirty -- hard work will bring great rewards, and you are more than capable of exerting that extra ounce of effort that will help you win the race. Conservative action would be a waste of time today -- go a little bit farther than you had planned, and you'll get to the top of that mountain very soon.
hot hot hot
i just finished watching the 2007 mtv movie awards via the internet and during the presentation of the best villain nominees, i smirked after seeing xerxes (from 300) as part of it. i remember how i thought he was prettier than i am, with his eyebrows more arched than mine, his long manicured nails, not to mention all the jewelry he had on. there was nothing attractive about the man. this is him in one of his few moments with leonidas.
after the nominees were called, the camera turned to the actors who played the part, which included xerxes of course. and i imagined him to look exactly the same as the character but to my surprise, my smirking transformed to drooling. this is rodrigo santoro a.k.a. xerxes. now i want him to punish me. lol. :)) isn't he adorable?
Labels: movie awards, rodrigo santoro, xerxes
mrs. gil would be proud
i don't know how to describe how last night went. surely, it was a chance to be with my high school best friends again, a rare one that is. especially that lace was around and mariek was drinking beer. however, with this group of friends, shit is inevitable. i just don't understand why some of us can't get out of our high school selves. it's like a viral disease that has inflicted us and has never left since. for one, we never learn. in the very few times we go out for a drink at night, we always have a hard time deciding on a place to hang out. this happens particularly when there's many of us. secondly, on the moment we decide on a place, one or two would complain, whether it be on where the place is situated, the airconditioning and especially the price of alcohol. complaints would go on and on the whole night up until the time when we have to split the bill. some would spare a few pesos and one even refused to pay. but nobody ever pays in huge contribution. sometimes, i want to ask myself how i even became friends with this people. lol. :))
obviously, it just never seems to work when we go out in a huge group. but nevertheless, i'm glad to have spent time with them, buzzed or not. i loved the chance of laughing out loud about the ancient stories we seem to be repeating over and over. a sign that it's been years since we've been in that green uniform and khakis. i could mention how we've grown to mature individuals but i wouldn't. we're still the same bozos that we were, loud and annoyingly shameless.
w/ teacher jamby and lacey
gino, mariek, me and eder
w/ rasta boy francis
more pictures
here.
the pain of the year that was...
i don't know what stopped me from writing, or should i just use the term blogging? (cos i never thought of myself as a "writer") it's been a year when i last posted in a journal, not even anything handwritten. every once in a while, i'd read my previous entries. some would make me laugh, a few would make me cringe but for the most part, it made me remember the years when i never really knew who i was or what i wanted in life.
my last entry was dated april 24, 2006 and i just quoted something one man said to me. it did strike me at the time, however, today, i can simply smile at the thought of it. it made me realize that at a young age, even a short statement changed my day. i looked back at how much of a kid i was, grabbing everything sugar coated that was offered to me. i can not say i was happier, but i guess i was easier to please. i had a brighter outlook, a lighter atmosphere, a far cry from my currently cynical self. also, i saw my entry about my 21st birthday. turning 21 was a big deal for me. it marked the day of my being an adult, the legal age, the day when i was excited about actually being able to take care of myself financially, emotionally, etc. that was the same year that i got out of college and took a job at one of the most prestigious international banks. initially, i was bright eyed. i was ecstatic to meet new friends, get my first paycheck and shop with my own money. but a few months passed and it wasn't going well for me. i didn't like the job at all. i felt like i was being dragged to the office everyday. that was the start of hell for me. i have stopped smiling. i have stopped being giddy and candy colored. everything turned black since. i graduated from one of the best, if not the most esteemed universities in the country and i was working as a customer service representative at a bank. not that it's a degrading profession, it's just that back in college, i had other thoughts in my head, i had other plans. it wasn't what i expected. i knew i could've done better.
in august of the same year, mamang (my grandmother on my dad's side) got very ill and was brought to the hospital. i had a tight work schedule so i had to postpone visiting her for a free day like Sunday. my mom woke up that day and i thought she wanted to visit mamang early. but she was in tears and had a hard time speaking. and at that moment, i found myself trembling, fearing the news that she might bring. i waited for her to calm down and the words that came out of her mouth had a hard time sinking in. mamang died that same morning. i wasn't particularly close with her but she was my dad's mom, my blood, my lola. when i was a kid, i remember how i used to vacation in her house during summer and it felt like i was the favorite apo by the way she treated me. but when i grew older, we also grew apart when i wished we could've spend more time together. i wished she knew more about me now that i'm no longer the little girl she used to steal from my mom and dad. and i wished i got to know her better. to make matters worse, tatay (my mom's dad) died in his room just a month after mamang left us. it was devastating, it was emotional trauma to lose two of the people dear to you in a month's time. ife could be as short and regrets are formed once our hearts stopped beating (literally).
consequently, we had to take care of everything mamang left. it came with a series of families bickering, backstabbing, legal cases filed and greed that ate us all up. it's just like a soap opera, where the "herederos/herederas" fight over the "mana", regardless of whether or not you spit on your family's faces. but despite all the hating (and the money), it wasn't at all a good feeling for me. at the age of 21, i had to sign legal documents, attend court hearings and face some of the people i despise, the people i thought were the "family" i grew up with and loved. but i guess i was too optimistic as a kid, little did i know then that money and power entices anyone to turn his/her back on you. the events that followed were mostly caused by he never-ending saga of pinpointing, who wanted what, who should own this, who should be blamed for that. it was an awful sight, a part of my life i wouldn't want my children to hear about.
due to all the pressure, my mom was rushed to the hospital and underwent surgery for aneurysm. i guess she wasn't able to handle the preceding events. physically, she no longer had the strength to. this was the first time i found myself actually praying to God every time i see her in that state, with the stitches in her head, with the way she wasn't in her usual bubbly self. having to stay in the hospital for three weeks straight, spending the xmas eve with my mom in that condition was the second most devastating event in my life next to my dad's death when i was 5 years old.
but nonetheless, whether all these things happened by choice or by chance, whether or not i was overwhelmed with this sudden downpour of painful events, one thing i'm sure of is that it made me value my life and the people i love. i know it's not over yet. i'm young and there's more to come. i'm still in the process of growing and accepting. every day is a challenge as they say yet i'm still here, living, learning, fighting, waiting.
Labels: 2006, aneurysm, death, greed
